Fathomless Mystery

Sometimes I think I have whiplash. At one moment, I am rejoicing in the blessing and purpose of my life, and then without notice I grieve the world and heartbreak around me. I hear of twins conceived by a 14 year old and watch her struggle through the adoption process. Then I hear about Greg and Ellie who want nothing more than to have middle of the night feedings and dirty diapers.

My heart is broken, my heart is full.

I am in awe of my blessings, then I walk away, hanging my head in confusion as to why I'm the one blessed.

After a while, I start to wonder which thing is real. Can they exist at the same time and how can I honor them equally?

Kahlil Gibran, as well as the writer of Ecclesiastes, share the sentiment. For Gibran, the pain and joy come from the same place. He even says that the deeper your pain, the more joy you can contain.

So I keep peeking behind me to see what will nip at my heels next. And maybe, just maybe the pain and joy will one day be one big blur and all I'll see is life, full of richness and authenticity.

That's my prayer anyway.

I hope this is legal. I want to share some lyrics that have spoken to me in a serious way the last month. My alarm clock is set to play this song at 6AM every morning. The line "You can't be everything you want to be before your time" particularly shouts to my hurry-to-maturity self. I'm at home sick today, so maybe the song is working it's magic! By the way, it's by Billy Joel and I first heard it in the movie "Thirteen going on Thirty." Never underestimate the power of a teeny bopper movie. Sorry, Jon, it's nothing like the Indigo Girls, but we need to be open to other artists from time to time! Ha!

"Vienna"

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart
Then tell me why are you still so afraid

Where's the fire
What's the hurry about
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You've got so much to do
And only so many hours in the day

But you know when the truth is told
YOu can get what you want or you can just get old
Your gonna kick off before you even get half way through
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you

Slow down, you're doin' fine
You can't be everything you want to be before your time
Althought it's so romantic on the borderline tonight

Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
YOu can't always see when you're right

You got your patch on, you got your pride
But don't you know only fools are satisfied
Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will your realize, Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
And take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile
It's alright, you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you

And you know that when the truth is told that you can get what you want or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get half-way through
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you