Monday, February 16, 2004
I'm in.....
I have never played poker. But for some reason, the game's terminology and language appeal to me. It reminds me of life's risks we either seize or refuse.
I had a dream about a week ago in which all of my language in the dialogue was poker language. I said things like, "I'm putting all of my cards in one stack" and "the stakes are too high" and "I'm not ready to fold." Sounds strange, but if you know me, you know my dreams are never normal.
What does this mean? How would Freud analyze this? One wise person once told me that you should focus on what you feel in a dream, and that often its contents are secondary. I have been haunted by this analysis because thinking about what my dreams/feelings mean often make me squirm. Am I ready to "risk something big for something good"? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. And, finally, what are the implications of risk? What will happen if I risk? What will happen if I don't?
All I know for sure is that risking is always scary. Always uncomfortable. Always exciting. I pray more often than not I'll be ready to play the game.
I had a dream about a week ago in which all of my language in the dialogue was poker language. I said things like, "I'm putting all of my cards in one stack" and "the stakes are too high" and "I'm not ready to fold." Sounds strange, but if you know me, you know my dreams are never normal.
What does this mean? How would Freud analyze this? One wise person once told me that you should focus on what you feel in a dream, and that often its contents are secondary. I have been haunted by this analysis because thinking about what my dreams/feelings mean often make me squirm. Am I ready to "risk something big for something good"? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. And, finally, what are the implications of risk? What will happen if I risk? What will happen if I don't?
All I know for sure is that risking is always scary. Always uncomfortable. Always exciting. I pray more often than not I'll be ready to play the game.
Saturday, February 07, 2004
Alphabet Poop
Like many other thoughts and ideas we entertain on a daily basis, credentials are somewhat of an illusion. For example, as of two days ago, I acquired a new letter that will now and henceforth follow my name: LMSW. Not only do I hold the "status" of having a master of social work, but I am now a LICENSED social worker. This means nothing for my job (pay, status, etc.) except that those who have peeped into the social work world will know I took a big test full of Freud and developmental psychology.
For my clients, however, the alphabet soup that runs its course after my name has absolutely no bearing on what they think of me, how they interact with me, etc. Yes, I have worked hard on my education. And, like it or not, there is a sort of entitlement mindset that goes along with that hard work, but the bottom line is other more significant things will win me their respect. The letters are just icing on the cake.
What I think about my clients will win the day. Not only that I respect them and honor them, but that I simply acknowledge that they are human beings. Even beyond that, that I affirm that although I have had the good fortune of receiving higher education, we are essentially all in the same boat together, and for some reason, at this juncture I happen to be a tour guide of sorts.
So on I go. Happy and excited about my credentials, even willing to display my diploma on my office wall. But when it all comes down to it, it's really just alphabet poop.
mlg
For my clients, however, the alphabet soup that runs its course after my name has absolutely no bearing on what they think of me, how they interact with me, etc. Yes, I have worked hard on my education. And, like it or not, there is a sort of entitlement mindset that goes along with that hard work, but the bottom line is other more significant things will win me their respect. The letters are just icing on the cake.
What I think about my clients will win the day. Not only that I respect them and honor them, but that I simply acknowledge that they are human beings. Even beyond that, that I affirm that although I have had the good fortune of receiving higher education, we are essentially all in the same boat together, and for some reason, at this juncture I happen to be a tour guide of sorts.
So on I go. Happy and excited about my credentials, even willing to display my diploma on my office wall. But when it all comes down to it, it's really just alphabet poop.
mlg
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
February 4, 2004
Today is a special day. It is a celebration day. Three years ago, a few 3 hours from now, I ended a caustic relationship that would have altered my life forever if it had continued. Actually, the termination of it also changed my path in a significant way.
Because of the break-up, I am involved in a life-giving, grace-flowing church. I have more friends than I deserve, and am finding my path in the vocational world. NONE of these things would have happened if I had continued the way I was going. Okay, maybe in some way they would have, but I would have come out with unneccessary and damaging scars. At least my wounds now are of the learning-type and not the compromising type.
I'm not a fatalist, but something outside of myself intervened. Some particularly wise insight invaded my mind, body and spirit and screamed at me the wrongness of which I was a part. Luckily, I took heed and severed the relationship that was breaking my spirit. The Holy Spirit is real.
Of all the times to use theo-jargon, today is the day. Praise the Lord for an intervention that was beyond all of my own sensibilities and capabilities. I am free, and more importantly, I am becoming more of who I am supposed to be. Thanks be to God.
mlg
Today is a special day. It is a celebration day. Three years ago, a few 3 hours from now, I ended a caustic relationship that would have altered my life forever if it had continued. Actually, the termination of it also changed my path in a significant way.
Because of the break-up, I am involved in a life-giving, grace-flowing church. I have more friends than I deserve, and am finding my path in the vocational world. NONE of these things would have happened if I had continued the way I was going. Okay, maybe in some way they would have, but I would have come out with unneccessary and damaging scars. At least my wounds now are of the learning-type and not the compromising type.
I'm not a fatalist, but something outside of myself intervened. Some particularly wise insight invaded my mind, body and spirit and screamed at me the wrongness of which I was a part. Luckily, I took heed and severed the relationship that was breaking my spirit. The Holy Spirit is real.
Of all the times to use theo-jargon, today is the day. Praise the Lord for an intervention that was beyond all of my own sensibilities and capabilities. I am free, and more importantly, I am becoming more of who I am supposed to be. Thanks be to God.
mlg
