Friday, April 09, 2004
Self-Awareness Gone Extreme
In the field of social work, self-knowledge is not only expected, but demanded. How many times have I been advised to ask the following questions of myself: "How does this make me feel? What of my own prejudices and biases am I encountering when dealing with this client? What are my feelings and thoughts about this? What are my motives? Am I digging deep in my subconscious? What is going on with me, me, me???"
Whew. It gets exhausting. Annie Dillard has a word to say about this. She says, "I wonder if we do not waste most of our energy just by spending every waking minute saying hello to ourselves."
Don't get me wrong, self-awareness is a tool in becoming an effective social worker, and really, a healthy person. But c'mon, can't I just live sometimes? For one day, just one day, can I have an experience that does not enter and exit a filter? Can't I just be?
My roommates and I declare that we are three of the most self-aware females on the planet. Do we dare wonder why we have "Mr. Wonderful" the plush doll displayed on top of our TV? But again, the wondering is the problem....
There's no escape.
Whew. It gets exhausting. Annie Dillard has a word to say about this. She says, "I wonder if we do not waste most of our energy just by spending every waking minute saying hello to ourselves."
Don't get me wrong, self-awareness is a tool in becoming an effective social worker, and really, a healthy person. But c'mon, can't I just live sometimes? For one day, just one day, can I have an experience that does not enter and exit a filter? Can't I just be?
My roommates and I declare that we are three of the most self-aware females on the planet. Do we dare wonder why we have "Mr. Wonderful" the plush doll displayed on top of our TV? But again, the wondering is the problem....
There's no escape.
